Church Bulletin Bloopers

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference. "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals".

Today the pastor will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy"

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands".

Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the water'. The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus'.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are afflicted with any church.

Remember in prayer those who are sick of our church and community.

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a terrible experience".

Next weeks sunday evening speaker, Missionary to Greece, Alan Brown, will be presenting his ministry and progress of his work among the geeks.

Visitor are more than welcome to join in worshipping with us. We want you to feed at home!

The Preacher for next Sunday will be found hanging on the notice board in the porch.

Notice in the kitchen of a Church Hall: "Ladies, when you have emptied the teapot, please stand upside down in the sink".

Poster on a Church noticeboard: "What is Hell like?". Another poster on the same noticeboard: "Come and hear our Choir sing next Sunday".

Seen outside a Canadian Baptist Church: "Church parking only. Violators will be baptised".

Seen on a Church noticeboard: "Come early and get a back seat".

In the Church Notices: "At the last Church Council meeting, it was decided that from this week on the freewill offering will be compulsory"

The parish magazine: "We are pleased to note that there has been a change of mind by the Housing Department regarding the name for the new housing complex for the elderly. "St Peter's Close" did seem somewhat inappropriate".

Women's Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication.

Karen's beautiful solo: "It is Well With My Solo."

Congratulations to Tim and Ronda on the birth of their daughter October 12 thru 17.

If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.

Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford."

Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be water-baptized on the table in the foyer.

Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight.

Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.

The District Duperintendent will be meeting with the church boared.

As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing.

Fifth Sinday is Lent.

Thank you, dead friends.

Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits

Head Deacon and Dead Deaconess

We pray that our people will jumble themselves.